Don't get us wrong — we're delighted that the film-actor snobbery of bygone eras has passed, and these days celluloid gods from Demi Moore to Sean Penn are cheerfully passing through their — and our — favorite TV shows. However, we're still waiting for a few holdouts to give in. Perhaps these reluctant tube stars could be sold by a quick review of the imaginative roles we've earmarked for them.

Arnold Schwarzenegger: While playing out a short story arc on The West Wing, the wannabe political animal prepares for his gubernatorial bid by rehearsing debates with the Chatty Cathys of the Oval Office.

Russell Crowe: Those awful duds! That ratty hair! Now that the Oscar winner is married, doesn't he owe it to his bride to get a proper makeover from Queer Eye for the Straight Guy's style council?

Drew Barrymore: Sex and the City's Carrie and Co. have a cow — and cosmos for one — after the incorrigible guy magnet's visit to New York prompts them to rename their hunting ground No-Menhattan.

Michelle Pfeiffer: Mrs. David E. Kelley causes a commotion upon showing up in the offices of Nip/Tuck's botox-mad doctors. For the life (and livelihood!) of them, the plastic surgeons can't find a flaw on her.

Winona Ryder: Sopranos godfather Tony is ready to call the cops when daughter Meadow proves herself to be a chip off the old block by taking on the notoriously inept shoplifter as her partner in crime.

Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez: As their wedding nears, the couple pre-honeymoon on Temptation Island, where they must fend off the advances of every man, woman and talent manager in Hollywood.

Tom Cruise: After playing hardball renegotiating his soap-opera contract, Friends's master thespian Joey is stunned to find that a certain top gun has been hired to replace him as Dr. Drake Remore.

Denzel Washington: Since Malcolm X left no room for a sequel, the Academy Award winner jumps at the chance to remake history by passing through 1960s-set American Dreams as the civil-rights leader.

Jim Carrey: A recurring Everybody Loves Raymond gig as the freak next door to the Barones gives the man of a thousand faces a chance to make several hundred of them. On a related note, Marie is thrilled to be relieved of her title as the most annoying person on the block.

The upcoming Fox comedy Luis marks Luis Guzman's first starring TV vehicle, but the Puerto Rican character-actor says he's long been preparing for his role as a donut-shop owner who dispenses not-so-sugar-coated advice to his customers.

"I was a social worker in New York City for many years," says Guzman, who's stolen scenes in films like Traffic and Punch-Drunk Love. "I find this just another avenue, another means for me to help people through my message coming into their living room."

Guzman defends his fictional TV alter ego, who comes across (at least in the pilot) as an old-fashioned, slightly abrasive father-figure. "He's the guy that grew up in the neighborhood and sees the neighborhood go through all these changes," he explains. "He's like the mayor, and anybody who wants advice about what kind of a garbage-can color they should get... what number they should play... or should their daughter marry so-and-so, they come to him."

And though Luis — which airs Fridays at 8:30 pm/ET beginning Sept. 26 — has earned notice as one of the latest crop of Latino-centric shows invading prime-time, Guzman doesn't want to pigeonhole the series. "I don't consider this a 'Latin' show," he says. "I understand the centerpiece of the show is a Latin family, but again, it's a show representing all the flavors and all the colors of New York City."?

Talk about pressure. After years of playing second banana in films like Big Momma's House, Private Parts and Big Fat Liar, Paul Giamatti's first gig as a leading man finds him starring opposite the very subject he's portraying! In American Splendor, the actor plays real-life comic-book legend Harvey Pekar, who also appears as an interview subject in the flick. Surprisingly, Giamatti says the inventive (albeit nerve-wracking) storytelling technique actually drew him to the project.

"I was really interested in doing [Splendor] because [Pekar] was in it, and I was going to have be juxtaposed with him," he tells TV Guide Online. "It will certainly be clear if what I'm doing is any good."

Giamatti admits that he was mostly concerned with mimicking Pekar's distinctive deep voice. "I was worried that it would sound fake, but it was not that bad," the 36-year-old notes. "I found a way to do it that it didn't hurt at all."

Ironically, the most painful part of the shoot came after the movie wrapped, when Giamatti had to return his circa '70s garb. "I really wanted to keep some of those clothes," he laughs. "I loved those clothes. The costume designer was great.

"I think a lot of it was [Harvey's] actual clothing that he still has 20 years later," he continues. "Some of them were just really ratty, and I would have kept them, but my wife was just like, 'No.'"