"YOU DON'T need to boo, you just need to vote!" cautioned Barack Obama to enthusiastic supporters.

And Bette Midler has this to offer: "I haven't left my house in days. I watch the news channels incessantly. All the news stories are about the election; all the commercials are for Viagra and Cialis. Election, erection, election, erection -- either way we're getting screwed."

I say, next time let's all vote by absentee ballot so we don't have to go through what we are going through today.

SPEAKING OF voting, that gent about the world, Dominick Dunne, is escaping from New York Presbyterian Hospital today. He insisted on being allowed out to vote. Then he'll go back in for a major re-haul soon after. I would give out his direct phone number but fear his fans would short circuit the hospital. I'll keep you posted on this elegant writer.

TALK ABOUT laughing all the way to the bank! Isn't the one doing the laughing the same little lady with long blonde hair and talent she hasn't even tapped yet? She's the Oscar-winning American acting genius who the major critics all said would ruin her high-brow career by taking on a low-brow feel-good movie called "Mamma Mia!"

Some ruined career! Providing what the British papers call "welcome relief from the credit crisis" -- "Mamma Mia!" has become the highest-grossing film of all time for the Brits. Its star is Meryl Streep.

The ABBA musical has taken in more than $133 million at the English box office and is fully expected to soon overtake "Titanic," which earned about $138 million. In the United States alone the movie musical has earned $143 million.

If you didn't care for ABBA's music or the stage show or the movie version, perhaps you might want to think twice and go for simply accepting the great Irving Berlin's advice to Cole Porter: "Listen, kid, take my advice. Never hate a song that has sold half a million copies!"

RECENTLY, we quoted the old song "We are seen around New York, El Morocco and The Stork and the other stay-up-late cafes..." Now comes a note from Wendy Carduner reminding us that Manhattan does still have a stay-up-late midtown cafe for both young and older. It's called Doubles, alive and sexily made over by Tom Britt. It's downstairs in the Sherry Netherland Hotel.

VIGGO MORTENSEN doesn't seem to care whether his movie-acting career takes off or not, although it did after "Lord of the Rings" and "Eastern Promises." For the latter, he was nominated for an Oscar.

Viggo is busy with his paintings and photographs and has published 10 books of poetry, photography and painting. He is a pianist and composer who collaborated with the guitarist Buckhead on seven albums. His pals call him "No-Ego Viggo." This actor likes to ride horses, so enjoyed his turn in "Appaloosa." Viggo speaks English, Spanish, Danish, French, and a bit of Norwegian and Swedish. Probably after we see him in the dramatic and apocalyptic movie "The Road," he'll be accepting an Oscar in at least one of those languages.

NAMES ARE out everywhere but I only went to one restaurant, Primola, to find these.

Saw Gina Lollobrigida who said she's no longer wed to the young man she married in Europe last year. (Is that useful information?) Waved goodbye to Elke and Ben Gazzara who were off to an Argentine Film Festival featuring Ben's "Looking for Palladin," which he made in Guatemala. I saw Hilary and Joe Califano again; had just seen them at some big charity parties so those two get around. Oh, wait. I also glimpsed the wonderful Frankie Valli; the urbane L.A. landscape guy David Jones who is a pal to Nancy Reagan, and the tycoon-ette Linda Wachner, Post publisher Paul Carlucci, Knicks and Washington Wizards guy Ernie Grunfeld, and trucking biggie Michael Shevell (his daughter, Nancy, is off romancing the Beatle Paul McCartney.) Hey, this is exhausting!

LA LA land folks want to assure us everything isn't desperate out there. Welsh-born Downtown Julie Brown and actress Alexandra Leighton were making waves at the launch party for the new syndicated weekend radio show "Cougar Countdown." (I see the "Cougar" word for attractive older women hasn't yet out-lived its usefulness.)

The kickoff party was at psychic-to-the-stars Dawn Christie's house in Los Feliz. There were Playboy playmates galore and also--oh, my! Fabio. He never left the gorgeous Ms. Brown's side. No wonder -- she has better hair than he has at age 55.

Julie accepted compliments on her black lace blouse, saying: "Diane von Furstenburg sent this when re-launching her line. It's still in fashion. It's very 'in'." (That's nothing, I'm still wearing a pair of slacks Diane made for me 25 years ago!) Won't we next see Downtown Julie dancing in a very uptown manner on "Dancing With the Stars"? Seems like she's a natural.

GET ONBOARD for Radio City Music Hall's Christmas gift to the nation -- the best extravaganza extant. This year they're selling a ceramic doll of the Rockettes as tin soldiers. Best gift for little girls!

(E-mail Liz Smith at MES3838@aol.com, or write to her c/o Tribune Media Services, 2225 Kenmore Ave., Suite 114, Buffalo, NY 14207.)