"CHILDREN CAN be awe-inspiringly horrible; manipulative, aggressive, rude and unfeeling to a point where I often think that, if armed, they would make up the most terrifying fighting force the world has ever seen," wrote Jill Tweedie.

BUT WHO can resist this week's photo of Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick and their young son James, cooing over the new twin baby girls who've been added to their family.

And perhaps you have it down that the twins have really daunting family names. One is Tabitha Hodge Broderick and the other is Marion Loretta Elwell Broderick.

But I'm here to tell you that mommy and daddy and baby brother call them "Kitty" and "Babe."

DESPITE WHAT you may be reading, Elizabeth Taylor, though stunned and saddened by the death of her friend Michael Jackson, is not "screaming in her house," nor is her staff worried that she is in danger of dying from grief.

The star of stars, though fragile at 77, is not likely to die because of heartbreak over the passing of a loved one. She has already outlived many of those who were so close to her -- her third husband Mike Todd who died in a plane crash, her soul-mate the actor Montgomery Clift, her best friend of childhood Roddy McDowall, her beloved assistant and PR dame Chen Sam, her fashion pal Halston, her movie costar Rock Hudson, the father of her two sons Michael Wilding, a late-life beau Rod Steiger -- and many more.

If Elizabeth could survive the death of the love of her life, Richard Burton, after their two marriages, then you just know she'll survive Michael Jackson's passing.

In her highly emotional, self-involved statement the other day, Elizabeth declared: "I can't imagine life without him." But the story of this woman's life is survival, no matter what. She'll mourn and move ahead.

WHEN YOU happen on the Oscar-winner Marion Cotillard playing John Dillinger's girlfriend in the Johnny Depp movie "Public Enemies," just remember this. You'll be seeing one of the rare new wave's most intelligent and charming actresses.

Cotillard, 33, won fame as Edith Piaf and made the best acceptance speech just about ever heard at the Academy Awards. She is a rare star and researched her new role as a gun moll at a Menominee reservation in Wisconsin. She is simply brilliant!

My interview with her was one of the most enjoyable I've ever had.

NEW YORK boasted star power recently when big names showed at the Regency Hotel to support the Actor's Fund. This pet money-raiser lured the ravishing Annette Bening from L.A. to be the lead VIP, as hotel guy Jonathan Tisch did his good deed for theater greats.

Notables included Angela Lansbury, John Goodman, Bebe Neuwirth, Brian Stokes Mitchell, B.D. Wong, Lynn Redgrave, Mike Nichols, Andrea Burns and Tovah Feldshuh. These worthies are busy raising $12 million for the acting community.

THE BRITS love and respect their Dame Judi Dench to such an extent that when this grand actress utters a few swear words in one of those James Bond movies, the British Board of Film Classification gets complaints.

"Almost every time Dame Judi swears in a film, such as 'Quantum of Solace,' we can expect reactions," says a spokesperson.

I happen to know Dame Judi and she's the kind of amusing, down-to-earth woman who might be expected to swear a little bit considering all she has to put up with as M, head of the Secret Service.

I'd say should the Queen ever swear, that would be news, but those Dames -- Dench and Mirren -- it's just par for the course.

GREAT EXPECATIONS of summer? Yes, mid-July we get "Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince," which will show the classic characters eight years older. Believe it or not, Harry will now be in his sixth year at Hogwart's "in the grip of hormonal angst" as they say.

Come August we'll have "G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra" and this is a high-tech action movie based on a military doll and an animated TV series. The director is Stephen Sommers and he will offer Sienna Miller in a cat suit and stilettos.

"Inglourious Basterds" also comes in August with Quentin Tarantino giving Hollywood the back of his hand again trying to re-establish his offbeat glory. He has Brad Pitt in this movie so, probably, all will be well.

TALK ABOUT romantic, the beautiful Christie Brinkley has become pragmatic as time has gone by.

She now advises, "Right at the beginning of a relationship, I would formulize an exit strategy."

(E-mail Liz Smith at MES3838@aol.com, or write to her c/o Tribune Media Services, 2225 Kenmore Ave., Suite 114, Buffalo, NY 14207.)